There is nothing more important in a child’s life than the impact their parents leave in their early childhood. Whether it’s through mistreatment or being overly affectionate (or anything in between, really), the child will pick up every single emotion, word and thought, embrace it and live by it for the rest of their life.
A word
In every girl’s life, the role of a father is of the utmost importance for helping shape her future relationships, observations and her appreciation of self, and her overall communicative methods with the opposite sex. Although boys’ perspectives at a young age are predominantly dependable on the mother’s behavior in the same way that a father’s actions influence a girl’s manners, boys are still affected by their father’s presence in their lives and crave it with the same passion a girl would. The mother, naturally, plays a crucial role for both sexes as well, although in a different manner.
Being a good parent is a balance of everything – from carefully planned parenting methods, the love given, the living conditions provided for the child, the overall behavior towards them in both happy and critical situations, etc.
This time around, we’re tackling the importance of a fathers’ engagement with the children’s development and the ways they influence it, and turn out to be their children’s favorite people in the world.
#Emotional support
Contrary to popular belief, every person – no matter how young or old – needs emotional support from the people they love and look up to. Further, no emotion is gender specific, which is why – in order to become your children’s superheroes, you need to develop a sense of understanding for their emotions. This doesn’t mean spoil them or tolerating every emotional rant they may get, it means learning to listen to their little hearts and help them understand what they are feeling. Once children learn to understand and process the emotions they have, they’ll grow up into healthy, emotionally stable individuals.
#Random, developing activities
“When my dad’s with me, I’m not afraid of sharks”, said this little girl once while she was waiting for her father to go swimming with her. Be THAT father. The kind of father who offers stability and joy through play and engagement with day-to-day activities with their kids, sports, extracurricular activities, etc. Reward them by including them in home activities like cooking together (obviously, you’ll let them do something minor like wash the vegetables), or setting the garden up.
If you see your child’s interested in painting, offer to paint with them. If you see they like to play volleyball, participate/organize “family tournaments”, teach your child to swim, teach them to ride a bike, be with them as they discover who they are and what they like. Offer support and understanding in every situation they’d like to be a part of. And, if you sense their choices or desires are impossible at the moment they are happening in, find a way to communicate that to your kids without turning it into a stressful, heartbreaking experience. Furthermore, always include your partner in all decision-making – you want your children to create a healthy visual of both parents being present in their lives, not just one.
#In-house activities
One of the best ways for a child to feel happy on their own terrain is to have a space you’ve built for them. If the child feels like they’ve got no space of their own, they may develop a feeling of rejection. So, if your child is old enough to know how to communicate their likes, dislikes, preferences and needs, work on creating a room for them, i.e. their personal space that will inspire good vibes, happiness, rest and creativity. Sit with your child and ask them what they would like and then brainstorm the direction to take that room design in. Let the child be part of the room preparations every step of the way; that way they’ll have a strong sense of importance, they’ll understand they are part of something very big that they are doing with their parent (which will create a fantastic bond, further) all while creating a space they’ll adore.
#Lead by example
Nobody is perfect 24/7; we make a million mistakes in a second but the way we show, process and communicate them speaks much of who we are as people. Whenever you are around your children, do your best to be the best version of yourself. After all, you want your children to start their sentences with “I remember my father would always have a positive attitude towards everything, no matter how terrible things were” rather than “I remember my father snapping at every little thing we did, no matter how petite… I was terrified throughout most of my childhood”… right?
Good luck with everything and try to be open-minded! Being a superhero takes patience, and a banana doesn’t really do much in a parenting comic book, we’re afraid.